Shape

I live my life in chains
Got my hands in chains
And I can't stick with the cards
That I got with a deal
Like this I must insist
That a girl's got more to do
Then be the way you think a woman should
I'm taking it into my own hands
In this man's land I can understand
Why I'm taking command
Had enough of stuff
And now it's time to think about me
I've always played it safe nothing's ever safe
Give me the courage to back my own convictions
Every decision I make I pay it back and more
Now turn the cards and let them fall to me
I don't need to play on with the hand that they have given me
I'll give it back cos it's not the way it has to be
And you can easily gamble your life away
Second after second
And day by day
You play the game or you walk away
It's a new turn on a blue day
And a cool deal of life for me
And it's all good
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

Sometimes, heartbreak does not only apply in relationship.
But when there is too much expectation in life, it could just lead to another step of disappointment.
The shape becomes uneven.

ps: This is not a post about love
pss: Quotation is taken from "Shape" by Sugababes lyrics

LOVE

I quoted this from the CINTA FB's page:

LOVE is an offering that one yearns
LOVE is a bond that has no exceptions
LOVE is an envisage emotion
LOVE is a pearl in a deep blue ocean
LOVE is an attitude that gives no limitations
LOVE is a feeling that gives devotion
LOVE is Passion, LOVE is Care,
LOVE is Sweet to be shared,
LOVE is Unique, LOVE is Wonder,
LOVE is a Need that one Desire

Did I marry the right person

I am not sure who wrote this, but I read this article in someone's page.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said,'How
do I know if I married the right person?'

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades..

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their
unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessiv e TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. .

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you
know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make love'.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'

Whenever, whatever

Second chance

It's been a week now and I still feel like it was all just a dream. Bad dream I should say. Though I somehow feel like someone who is so sick when people keep on asking me whether I am ok or not, but I guess I couldn't be more grateful for I am still breathing until now, Alhamdulillah.

I was just came back from a state level event for the team that I managed last Saturday. First runner up all over the state is quite an achievement for a new comer like me. It was the first day of working after been outstation for quite a while. Well, I guess I should have just trust my instinct as the day started with a 'not-so-in-the-mood' me. The whole morning was dull, until lunchtime, I wasn't planning to finish up my 'leftover work' so after the meeting, I rushed to my car, and speeding to the bank to settle-up things.

I wasn't so sure what happened, but as far as I remembered, I was driving fast when I lost control the car and hit the highland area. Everything was like a snapshot, before I fainted for few seconds to minutes. As what I remembered, I told myself to immediately get out of the car, and yes, I was actually half-conscious when I sat next to the 'badly damaged' car few moments later. Not so long, I heard a friend of mine, running towards me, hugging me, asking me how was I but to be frank that time, I wasn't so sure what I was feeling.

Now, it's been a week, and I am actually becoming more sure of how I feel for I know, I am getting better, Alhamdulillah. As far as I know, by hook or by crook, I have no other options but to stay strong since the traumatic incident. And I am also feeling so grateful for I have everyone to support me. I guess, the incident has made me realized , how lucky I am to have everyone who loves and concerns about me.

Perhaps it's a reminder for us all.

Though it's a bit hard to start everything all over, but I'm still grateful for God has given me the second chance, to make things right.

"You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left"

Only TIME understands LOVE

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others......, including Love.

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat.

Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you." Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.

Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry.

Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder.

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", Knowledge answered. "But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered;

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

ps: I don't write this article, but I saved it in my drive.

pps: It's a very sweet analogy though..

Just a dream

ps: I love this song.. and the vid..
pss: Really a thumb up for this one..

Friendship Rules

According to Richard Templar in his book "The Rules of Love", there are no rules in friendship. Your Friends are who they are - you have to take 'em or leave 'em.

Rule 87

Only have people in your life who, on balance, make it better not worse

The greatest thing about friends is that they're not compulsory. You don't have to stay with them unless you want to. Hopefully you'll have plenty of really good, reliable friends who make you feel good about yourself. But if there are people around you who don't do this, you don't have to go on seeing them you know.

Let's clear about this. You deserve to have friends around you who make you feel good, support you when you're going through rough times, and want you to be happy. Anyone who doesn't fit those criteria isn't in fact a friend at all, even if you call them one.

I know this isn't always easy. What about that friend who sometimes puts you down, but really makes you laugh? What about the one who is negative about your dreams, but always listens when you're in trouble? What about the critical friend who's always ready to help out? Or the unreliable one who is incredibly kind ( when they're there)? Tricky, isn't it? I don't know the answer. All I can tell you is that it's a balancing act. You need to put them in a giant set of scales - faults on one side and virtues on the other - and see which side carries the most weight.

The point of having friends is to feel better than we would if we didn't have friends. So why have them if they don't do this much for us? You know which friends you want to keep without questions, and which you'd rather be without. And a few you'll have to think through carefully. Remember, you can't ask them to change - you just take them or leave them.

Of course you don't want to make their life on balance worse, so you'll extricate yourself gently and considerately from the friendship. I'm not advocating a showdown in which you tell them exactly what you think of them, and they retaliate, and you have a big row. You're going to keep the moral high ground remember (Rule 71). Maybe you can avoid them completely and maybe you can't. But you can certainly stop confiding in them, stop leaning on them when you want support, and stop inviting them to your birthday party. In short, stop treating them like a best friend and discreetly relegate them to the status of acquaintance.

This isn't just something you need to do now. All through your life you'll need to run the occasional check on some friend or other to decide whether they are, on balance, making your life better. I hope most of them will all of the time. That way, you can be sure that you're surrounded by people who are, collectively and individually, making your life richer.

"The great thing about friends is that they're not compulsory"

The Rules of Love, Richard Templar (International bestselling author of The Rules of Life)

Ps: Thanks to my dearest for buying me this book, worth reading though.