Friendship Rules

According to Richard Templar in his book "The Rules of Love", there are no rules in friendship. Your Friends are who they are - you have to take 'em or leave 'em.

Rule 87

Only have people in your life who, on balance, make it better not worse

The greatest thing about friends is that they're not compulsory. You don't have to stay with them unless you want to. Hopefully you'll have plenty of really good, reliable friends who make you feel good about yourself. But if there are people around you who don't do this, you don't have to go on seeing them you know.

Let's clear about this. You deserve to have friends around you who make you feel good, support you when you're going through rough times, and want you to be happy. Anyone who doesn't fit those criteria isn't in fact a friend at all, even if you call them one.

I know this isn't always easy. What about that friend who sometimes puts you down, but really makes you laugh? What about the one who is negative about your dreams, but always listens when you're in trouble? What about the critical friend who's always ready to help out? Or the unreliable one who is incredibly kind ( when they're there)? Tricky, isn't it? I don't know the answer. All I can tell you is that it's a balancing act. You need to put them in a giant set of scales - faults on one side and virtues on the other - and see which side carries the most weight.

The point of having friends is to feel better than we would if we didn't have friends. So why have them if they don't do this much for us? You know which friends you want to keep without questions, and which you'd rather be without. And a few you'll have to think through carefully. Remember, you can't ask them to change - you just take them or leave them.

Of course you don't want to make their life on balance worse, so you'll extricate yourself gently and considerately from the friendship. I'm not advocating a showdown in which you tell them exactly what you think of them, and they retaliate, and you have a big row. You're going to keep the moral high ground remember (Rule 71). Maybe you can avoid them completely and maybe you can't. But you can certainly stop confiding in them, stop leaning on them when you want support, and stop inviting them to your birthday party. In short, stop treating them like a best friend and discreetly relegate them to the status of acquaintance.

This isn't just something you need to do now. All through your life you'll need to run the occasional check on some friend or other to decide whether they are, on balance, making your life better. I hope most of them will all of the time. That way, you can be sure that you're surrounded by people who are, collectively and individually, making your life richer.

"The great thing about friends is that they're not compulsory"

The Rules of Love, Richard Templar (International bestselling author of The Rules of Life)

Ps: Thanks to my dearest for buying me this book, worth reading though.

This time, I'll let my tears running..

Dear S,

It hurts to hurt you,
I wish I could undone things,
I wish I wouldn't have to choose,
I wish that we could have stayed,
I wish things are good just like the old days.

But, time flies,
Things changed,
You've changed,
Either do I..

I am sorry S..

Truthfully,
Your bestie

Three magic words

I regretted it.
I am sorry.
I was wrong.
I love you.
Please forgive me.

Yes.
If only you would have said these three magic words, maybe you could have saved the friendship.
If only you would have said these three magic words, maybe you could have saved the relationship.
If only you would have said these three magic words, perhaps, you could have saved the marriage.

Why is it so hard?

Your ego.

Ohw you're 24

Well, I remembered last time when I turned to 24. Being 24 is like a statement to me. I started to worry about so much things in life. For most girl out there, 24 seems to be a new phase of life. Yes, by 24, probably you had already finished studying or maybe still struggling for your final year as an undergraduate, started worrying to look for your life partner, wondering what the world outside holds for you after you have left your student's life and so much more.

"Age is just a number!"

A very common phrase from my friends when I was caught by them worrying about myself turning 24. But I guess, it means a lot to me.

"Ohw, you're 24? Hmm, still young..."

Another common respond that i received from most people that I have talked to or some new friends that I met. What does that supposed to mean? Do I look older than my look? Not to brag, but there are some who claimed that I'm 19 when they first saw me...even some of my parents' friends said that me and my 20 years old sister are twins..=D

But now, I should say that it doesn't matter of what your age is. But, what most important is how you carry yourself . The life is in you hand, it is you yourself who shape your life. Whether you are 24 or 42, don't feel shy and feel confident about yourself. Mix around and you will be surprised that you'll learn more about life and see more perspective of it. Every individual is unique and each and every of them carries their own stories. Open up your heart and the world will open up for you.



xoxo