Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Some things to ponder

"The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise."

At-Taubah (9:71)

ps: We turn to God when our foundations are shaking without knowing that it is God who is shaking them for reasons known to Him only.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

That isn't his heart on his sleeve. That is my heart.

"You got more than looks. You got spunk, too, and that's good. Now, do you have a heart?"

"I don't understand."

"Well, I'll grant you, it's a little complicated to me, too. Because less than two weeks ago, I picked up the Enquirer, and there was your picture, smack dab on the front page, with a story that says you got jilted by your fancy beau. A week later, you're married to my nephew, Cole."

Five days ago, she'd have been humiliated by the mere mention of that article. Instead a wayward smile curved her lips.

"Well, yes," she admitted, "I can't see how that would look a little odd."

"That's the only part makes sense," he contradicted bluntly.
"Cole was mad and I showed him the picture to make a point, and I figured he made a point right back by marrying you to get his stock back. But then he told me you're the little girl he used to talked about when he was in college, and I remembered your name was Diana Foster, so I know it's really you. Are you following me?"

"So far, yes."

"Okay. So I figured out the two of you are old friends, and you just got jilted, and Cole needed a wife to get his stock back-so you two struck a deal. How am I doing so far?"

Diana eyed him askance. "Pretty well," she admitted with a trembling smile.

"Now, I also know Cole also worries about my heart. So after he got over being boiling mad over the bargain I stuck him with, he decided it would be better, for my sake, if the two of you pretended you actually give a damn about each other. Are you with me?"

She nodded warily.

"Good, because now we're coming to the part that scares the hell out of me."

"What's that?"

"Yesterday he was up at the house driving everybody crazy about every little detail so it would be as nice for you as it could be. He was giving a damned good imitation of a man who thought a whole lot of his wife. I got real excited to meet you. Last night, he couldn't keep his eyes off you. But I've gotta tell you straight out, Diana, I didn't get the idea you shared his feelings. Yet, this morning, he's wearing his heart on his sleeve, so I figure you had something to do with that last night."

He paused for emphasis, his voice turning insistent as he reached the real issue:

"Don't go playing around with his heart, girl. Either take all of it or leave it alone. Don't go taking little bits and pieces, when it suits you-and if it suits you. I don't think it's in you to be mean or cruel, but sometimes, if a woman doesn't know how a man feels, that could happen."

Diana collapsed back against the sofa, laughing softly, hugging Cole's picture on her chest. She turned her face to the elderly man who loved her husband, too, and said, without shame or pretense, "Cole isn't wearing his heart on his sleeve. That is my heart."

(Extracted from Remember When by Judith McNaught)

Words to ponder

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of what you have."

I came across this quotation as I was flipping from page to page, the book that I bought last Monday. Yes, off from station again due to some duty need to be done, so I took this opportunity to at least get something for myself too. A small quotations book for a reminder to myself and maybe for us all to ponder.

"Do not pray unless you believe God will answer."

Since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a successful career woman. My mother used to tell me;

"Things don't come easily. You have to work hard."

Holding on mother's words since I was very little, I never have such word of 'give-up' in my 'dictionary of life'.

I still remember when I met some of my childhood friends yesterday, a mini-gathering that made us to reminisce the memory back when we were kids. One of my friends told me that I always get the first place in class, and there was one year, I fall to the second place, I cried. We all thought that was funny, and we laughed at it. They even said, that's just a small matter, who would want to bother so much about what number you'd get in class? But to me, I guess, it means a lot, though I was only a little girl that time. Expectations maybe.

Last Wednesday, after a long-hour work, due to an event that we need to work on, we went to get some drinks. Well, of course, it always be me who is the youngest among the members of the table. There was actually something they said, that had really stroke me.

"You cannot expect much from people because it could disappoint you."

Well, yes. Couldn't argue more to that statement.

So no argument. =)

I remembered, one of my uncles' words.

"In whatever you do, you need to concern the sensitivity of people around you."

I guess, whoever you are, whatever attitude you have, but when it comes to this social affairs, you have to try to blend in.

Come to think about it. Sometimes, there are just many things in life that you'd wish you wouldn't have to do it , for some people perhaps, but for real, acceptance means a lot to you.

"Sincerity is the way of heaven."

ps: Think big. You are who you think you are.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I am just me

I love to talk or even nag,
I love people who loves me, and kids because usually they'll love me =)
A meaningful life partner, perhaps,
Make the right choices, often I follow that little voice of mine,
I'm brave and fearless, please don't try me,
I do know what I want and what to do, mostly,
I don't pretend, and I don't like hypocrites,
Unpredictable... Ooops

I am just me

ps: Now I remember who I am
pss: And I'm doing good =)

Friday, May 20, 2011

You don't marry someone who you can live with but you marry with someone who you cannot live without

We all know that marriage is the ultimate display of one’s affection for another. It bonds people together with their love, for life. A ritual only done between two people who are sure of their feelings for each other and who are sure that they are mature enough to understand and make the commitment. But they also must understand the time and effort that must be put into creating and maintaining a healthy relationship and marriage. Marriages don’t magically make relationships perfect. They require work and dedications. And careful thought is also required during and especially before the commitment is made.

Communication and understanding are two extremely important parts of any relationship, especially something as big as marriage. You have to make sure that you can communicate properly with the person you are marrying. You must also be able to understand their point of view on certain subjects or situations. Understanding each other’s feelings and thoughts will bring you both closer and keep your relationship and dealings with each other healthy. You also need to make sure that you are able to talk to each other and listen. Give and take is an important part of this as well. You each must listen to each other equally and never automatically shoot down the other’s thoughts or make light of them.

When talking over a problem, you should be able to calmly and rationally discuss what is happening, listening to the other’s side of the story and what they are feeling about this. Then you will be able to see all side and resolve the issue in a sensible way. If you truly think love one another, you will be able to communicate well. But if communication is a problem, it could result in serious problems and you should not stay in any relationship like that.

Don’t get so caught up in life that you forget to keep the love in your relationship or take it for granted, like it will stay there and wait while you ignore it. People think that when you get married, anything you did while you were dating shouldn’t or doesn’t need to be done anymore. But your partner will react well to the smaller things. Buy them a present, send them some flowers. And don’t be afraid to take them out on a date. Even though you are not technically dating anymore, you two can still go out for a romantic dinner or see a movie. Just spend the night with each other. Kiss them each morning and when you come home after the day. Surprise them with a nice dinner when they get back to the house. Even send them a romantic card. There are so many little things you can do to make sure the love stays strong throughout the years.

Marriage is a huge step, so make sure you consider it carefully before rushing into it. Talk about it with your partner or talk to others you know and trust who are married and ask them what it’s been like for them. Think about whether you could live with this person. How much do you care about them? It’s okay to be unsure about it at first but if it is meant to be, that feeling will soon fade, especially if you put some thought into it. And if you know you want to spend your life with someone, and you will definitely be able to tell when you do, you shouldn’t hesitate. Never miss out on the chance to be with someone who may be your soul mate. And don’t miss out on a lifetime of love and caring.

As I said before, marriage is such a huge commitment so don’t rush into it, but also don’t wait too long. And don’t be afraid either. It’s a beautiful bond between two people and it shows how much someone cares about you. Also, it shows that you have finally found someone that you care about more than anything and that you will be

with forever. Never run from someone you know deep down that you love. You may stop being together but you will never stop caring.

Marriage is a great thing. Marry the person that you can’t live without and you will never have to. Create wonderful memories and love that will last a lifetime.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

But it wouldn't be my world without you in it

Eva: I knew it was too good to be true. Who is she?


Blair: Just because you're dressed poorly, it doesn't mean that you're not Chuck Bass.

Chuck: Why would I want to be him?

Blair: You should've told me you got shot.

Chuck: I'm surprised you didn't shoot me yourself.

Blair: I have... many times in my dreams. The good ones. But if you were really hurt, I would want to know.

Chuck: When I woke up, my I.D. was gone. Nobody knew who I was. Nobody was coming to look for me. I realized that I might be alive but Chuck Bass didn't have to be.

Blair: Changing your name doesn't change who you are.

Chuck: It's a good start. A chance to live simply, earn people's respect. Maybe become a person someone could love.

Blair: Someone did love you... And you owe it to her... and everyone you're leaving behind, not to run away, which is what you're doing. And I don't think that great man you're talking about wanting to be is a coward. I think he would face up to what he did.

Chuck: I destroyed the only thing I ever loved.

(Returning the ring)


Blair: I don't love you anymore.

(Eyes watering)

Blair: But it takes more than even you to destroy Blair Waldorf.

Chuck: Your world would be easier if I didn't come back.

Blair: That's true.


Blair: But it wouldn't be my world without you in it.

(Looking at each others' eyes)

Thursday, May 12, 2011


I can still remember how the car crashed.
That moment, I asked;
"Oh Lord, is this how it all going to end?"
My life, my career, my love story, is it how it all going to end?
Like a lightning strikes, I realized, no, it's not going to end this way.

Just like a dream.

Maybe, I have to admit. It's so hard to start everything all over. All the traumas, feelings, memories that are all caught up in me... I feel it's so hard to move on.


When I look over the corridor, thinking myself, what's next?
To my surprise, it was all empty. I just wanted it all to be like what I've planned earlier, but,I can't seem to see anything in my future.


I was ambitious, I was persevere, I was careful, detailed, perfectionist, intelligent... but now, why do I see none?
I forgot who I was.


By the time, I'm writing this, I think I still am...

Written by:
She's confused

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

You'll never know

Yesterday, I finally manage to finish watching Desperate Housewives (Season 6) after it's been few months I guess I've been keeping the whole series untouched. And there again, been thinking about how mysterious life is.

You’ll never know how protective a mother can be just to ensure that her children are doing well in whatever it is and she’ll do whatever it takes for she thought what’s best for them.

You’ll never know how protective a father can be just to make sure that his children are well taken care of.

You’ll never know how protective a friend can be just to make sure that the other friend wouldn’t get hurt again and smile for whatever the life holds for her.

You’ll never know how protective a woman can be just to make sure nothing could harm her relationship or marriage.

You'll never know how protective a man can be just to make sure the woman that he loves is safe and happy.

You'll never know...

You'll never know...

You'll never know...

But I guess, most of us know.


LOVE is shown through actions, not by words.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Hati seorang wanita

Jam menunjukkan pukul 2 petang. Dia masih setia menunggu. Sesekali, dia membelek-belek majalah di rak sambil menjeling-jeling ke arah jam dinding yang kadang-kadang berdetik.

Tik tok. Masa dibiarkan begitu sahaja.

Tiba-tiba, lagu "For the rest of my life" yang menjadi nada dering telefonnya berkumandang.

"Hello, Yang! Sorry sangat-sangat. I ada meeting dengan bos tadi. Kejap lagi I sampai, ok? Kita lunch sama."
"Hm, ok Sayang. Bye."

Perbualan diakhiri dengan hela nafas yang perlahan. Dia tidak pasti, apa di dalam hatinya. Rancangan untuk sarapan pagi bersama kini menjadi rancangan untuk makan tengah hari pula. Dia berjalan dengan perlahan ke dapur, memotong epal, limau dan jambu batu yang tersusun di dalam mangkuk buah-buahan. Sambil itu, dia menuang jus ke dalam gelas dan diteguknya. Habis dijamah kesemua buah-buahan yang dipotong tadi.

Kemudian, dia mejeling-jeling ke arah telefon jikalau ada pesanan ringkas yang masuk. Kosong. Dia menghela nafas yang panjang.

Dia mula menaip.

"Sayang, you dekat mana dah?"

Bib bip. Mesej masuk.

"Sekejap ye Yang. I ada hal sikit."

Sekali lagi, dia menghela nafas yang panjang.

Dia duduk di hadapan televisyen, membelek-belek cerita untuk ditonton. Ya, siri kegemarannya! Sambil berbaring di atas sofa, dia menonton siri itu sehingga terlelap.

Sekali lagi, nada dering "For the rest of my life" berkumandang. Dia terjaga. Dia menjeling ke arah jam dinding, 6.30 petang.

"Hm, Sayang..."
"Yang, you buat apa?"
"I tengok tv tadi. Lepas tu tertido. You dah dekat mana?"
"I tengah drive. Ada hal sikit ni. Hm, you dah makan belum?"
"Belum. I tunggu you."
"I rasa I tak sempat nak makan dengan you ni. You makan dulu ok? I dah makan dengan bos tadi."

Entah dari mana, tiba-tiba air matanya berlinangan.

"Hm, ok..."

Telefon diletaknya. Air matanya semakin deras mengalir. Dia tidak pasti, apa yang sedang dirasakannya. Tetapi yang pasti, dia tidak dapat menahan perasaan itu.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


Well, ever come across a feeling where you cannot even say what it is? Yep, you cannot even talk about it when people ask, hardly to put it in words or at least get a picture of it.

It is just indescribable.

Many times, people have been asking me;

How are you now?
How do you feel?
How did that happen?
OMG, are you ok?

Well, the next best thing is, I always caught up with the answer "indescribable" in me.

Yep, no kidding. But I guess, many of us would feel the same way too, right?

Personally, I think that most of us only can describe our feelings when there is too much of it. I mean, when you feel too happy or too sad about something, then, you'll be able to talk about it. Otherwise, you'll be caught up with the feeling of "indescribable".

Well, many things in life, when you are sure, you will be able to talk about it, describe, and even argue for your own stand. So I guess, it applies to feelings too. I always believe that hesitation is not a good sign. As someone who put a lot of trust in feelings, I always believe in what I feel. It feels so right to ask it deep down inside, what say you?

Well, some people would rather rely on scientific reasoning and facts, but most people would rather trust their instincts. But then of course, never overdo, because there should be a balance in both.

"Too much of something is bad enough" isn't it?

So, I guess, you know your taste better.


ps: You'll be sure about it when you know it's right.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Life is...

My mom once told me,

"God will always test us with many challenges in life. Thus, we've got to be strong."

And my sister used to tell me,

"God tested us because of His love upon us."

Yes, life is a test.

Often people say,

"Life is like a drama"
"Life is like a novel, there many chapters in it"
"Life is like a box of chocolate, you'll never know what you're gonna get"

There are just undeniably many thoughts and wisdom about life. But to me...

"Life is a test"

But yet, despite of all challenges in life, the main point that we need to always remember and have faith on is, to be strong. There always be reasons for everything and sometimes, when you think that things turn to be bad, but actually it is not that bad at all. So, always have faith that you will find your happiness someday. =D

A friend once asked me,
"When you are facing difficulties in life, who will you consult or talk to?"

Surprisingly, I was speechless. Well yes, frankly speaking, I have problems to break out feelings to people, well yes, maybe sometimes there are exceptions when sometimes I do share stories and feelings with some close friends and loved ones, but mostly, I rather keep them to myself and which also actually, not a good thing to do.

"Sharing is caring"

Well, maybe this could apply. =D

When you share your thoughts and feelings with people, you would feel less burden with the things that you've been holding. Sometimes, sharing with the right person would give you the 'zing' and courage to move on. Sometimes, by telling people how you feel could actually make yourself feel better about certain things that bother you.

So, talk. But, be aware of whom you're talking to. Make sure he or she is someone who is trustworthy.


Monday, May 2, 2011

I wish

I wish I could make everyone happy,
I wish I could make you people to like me,

I wish I could please those people around me,

I wish I could grab that attention for people to accept me,

I wish I could do all the things, give more things, hoping that I finally will be able to fit in.

But yet,
What's left of me?

I wish I didn't have to push myself so much to make everything's done,

I wish I didn't have to sacrifice so much just to make it all seen perfect,
I wish I didn't have to ignore my own feelings, hoping that I am able to satisfy everyone.
I wish I didn't have to risk myself, hurt myself, just to live in people's expectation.

But in the end,
What's left of me?

I just wanted to be happy

But does sincerity counts?


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